So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
