it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
