The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
