Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
