I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
