I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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