Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
