are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
