Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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