I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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