i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
