smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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