its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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