She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
