Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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