Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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