She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
