but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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