she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
