Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
