at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
