wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
