Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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