party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
