i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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