im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize