In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
