As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm at about main and main street
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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