vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize