you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
