You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
