I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Houston, we have a squirter
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
