Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
