worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
