Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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