We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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