I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
