After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
