He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
