Umm I'm too high to move.
I look better un-naked...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
