Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
