Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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