got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
