Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
