i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
