Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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