he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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