I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
