Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
