Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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