I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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