We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
