hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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