"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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