Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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