bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
