Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
