I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
