Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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