i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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