A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You ruined the universe
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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