I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize